Posted by
Graham Shaw on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 1:21:45 AM
Dear Tommy,
I am very sorry that it took so long for me to respond to you, I am very sorry you did not like my article on co-ed bathrooms; it was never my intention to offend you in anyway. I apologize for my actions and hope that this will not tarnish…
Oh Lord it’s hard to keep that up! Tommy, may I call you Tommy? I can’t tell you how happy I was when I got your hate-mail; you see it was my first. So I need to thank you for that, I truly hope that this will not be last hate mail you send me, and that you will tell all your friends to send me hate-mail as well.
As a special reward for being my first hate-mail I will now break down your mail:
“your letter to the editor was the dumbest thing ive ever read in my life. which, i believe, is the reason why the published it.”
Let’s begin with point one: apparently you think my letter was the dumbest thing you’ve ever read in your life. Are you certain about this? Have you ever read The Vagina Monologues? I’m certain that a play that uses the “C” word over and over and over again is dumber than an article on co-ed bathrooms being morally repugnant.
Your second point seems to be that my letter being stupid is the reason it was published. How did you arrive at this conclusion, are you saying that our school newspaper intentionally runs “stupid” articles? I’ll have to agree with you that our newspaper runs countless stupid articles most of which praise various democrats as if they were Saints. But I don’t think stupidity is the reason those articles were ran I think it is symptomatic of the liberal bias at our newspaper.
You do however raise an interesting point: why was a conservative article run by a liberal paper. Now that I think of it I might have become a part of an Affirmative Action program at the newspaper, this means I’m now a “protected class” under out student code of conduct.
Now it seems I must go back on my word, please send me no more hate-mail, if you do it will count as harassment and will be reported to the Ministry of Love… I mean Student Judicial Affairs immediately. I am certain that after a session in Room 101... I mean the Equity office you will no longer harbor an unjust hatred of conservatives.
Sincerely
Graham Shaw
PS: In case you didn’t notice this was a satire, I really don’t give a care if I offended you; in fact I am quite honored by that fact. And any hate-mail you send me will not be sent to our schools Secret Police… I mean Diversity Educators although I may use it as fodder for more articles. Speaking of which pleas drop by
http://rantingrightwinger.townhall.com/ to see this letter again as it appears on my blog.